When the principal asks a fifth-grader to write a letter regarding the purchase of a new drinking fountain for their school, he finds that all sorts of chaos results.

In this story told primarily through letters, Principal Russ wants the middle school trees to be trimmed before his administrative evaluation, but the project is interrupted by a town gender war, dueling chefs, student tree protests, and a surprise wedding.

The seventh graders at Geyser Creek Middle School are preparing for a spelling bee and a horrible standardized test called the BEE, and try to smuggle their mascot--a bee that spells--into the local spelling competition.